Welcome to my website!

Welcome to my little corner of the internet. No judging or rude vibes allowed here, okay? This is just my way of letting my thoughts out and connecting with anyone out there dealing with similar stuff. It’s all about building a community here. Life can be a lonely ride sometimes, but by sharing stories, experiences, and what we’ve learned along the way, we get to remind each other that nobody has to go through it alone. Let’s keep this space safe, supportive, and full of compassion and understanding.

Every Negative Reminder

The name "Every Negative Reminder" wasn’t chosen randomly for my website. It holds deep meaning and reflects the impact these moments have on my life, every single day. It’s not just about the heartbreak of a negative pregnancy test—it symbolizes the countless daily reminders of infertility that I face. These reminders come in many shapes and forms, staring directly at me, no matter where I am or what I do. Whether I step out in public or remain at home, they’re always there. Yet, through it all, I don’t face these challenges alone—God’s strength carries me through each one.

Volcano Of Emotions

All the months leading up to year after year, have the same constant reminder to me...I may never get my miracle I so desperately long for! It's not just a BIG Fat, Negative, pregnancy test I'm staring at. It's a flood of wild emotions I can't control! As tears stream down my face, I have to pull myself back up mentally, out of that dark place of depression! Some days are more difficult than others. Sometimes, I just have to take a day for myself to mentally recharge. What keeps me going, is believing that, one day every negative reminder will only be a memory. All the while, it was making me stronger a woman!

Negative Vibes

24 Jan 2025 19:58

I don't know how many times a day, but I constantly have negative thoughts that run through my head, It feels like my thoughts have their own distinct voice that plagues my mind. I don't try to be such a 'Negative Nancy' all the time, and for the most part, I am a positive-thinking person. I didn't wake up one day, and decide that I would accept all the negativity, and let it weigh me down. It's years of seeing the same struggle every single day. It's my mind. I have to take the step in changing the way I think, or all the negativity will consume me. Life isn't always fair. Bad things happen to good people. Once you realize that, all the negativity passes by, and the clouds part, and you can see the sun shining through!

The Rain Doesn't Last Forever

23 Jan 2025 22:06

I have learned a lot through the many years of crying myself to sleep at night. The sleepless nights lying in bed, wondering, why doesn't anything change after all the prayers I have prayed? Even though I'm still trying to navigate through all the emotions, the best advice I can give to anyone struggling with infertility is to take it one day at a time! Don't look back in the past to all of the negative thoughts, or even try to focus on the future to, "how will this ever end". Just try to stay in that very moment, every passing minute! The rain doesn't last forever. The sun will come out! The first few months of trying to conceive were the happiest times in my journey! I can remember the excitement I felt, waiting for that positive test. I just knew it would happen any time! Each month that passed by, my joy began to turn to sadness! It has been 10 & 1/2 years ago since starting my journey. It's been a long, hard road, with many tears and such heartbreak! Hope is all I have left.........It can't rain forever, right?

The Masks of Many Expressions

25 Jan 2025 17:50

Just behind the many colorful masks I wear, it's beginning to get harder to put on that smiling facade I masquerade in. The truth be told, I'm tired of dancing to the happy beat, when the music I'm hearing is no longer a Symphony! Why is it that we feel infertility is something to be ashamed of? Or, that it makes us any less of a woman? I don't want to be a 'silent voice' anymore. This heart of mine has dealt with it's share of pain in the dark. Why do I have to say,"Yes, I'm fine", when my heart is breaking! Today, I say_ "No more will I walk in the shadows, but I will stand tall, hold my chin up high, and declare_'I'm suffering, but an infertility diagnosis doesn't define me'!"

The Climb

After many years of praying and struggling with the same obstacle in my path, I'm beginning to learn; faith doesn't always move mountains. Sometimes we have to set out to climb the mountain in our way! In my opinion, it takes as much faith to climb the mountain, as it does to pray and believe the mountain can be moved!

Every Negative Reminder

Welcome to my website!